11 Table Manners That Still Matter

I found this article today printed by the Reader's Digest, October 19, 2011.  I just love these 11 manners and thought you would like to have a refresher in table manners with me.  You know me, I have a few choice comments to go along them. 


11 Table Manners That Still Matter

•If you are the recipient of a toast, keep your glass at arm’s length—never drink from it. Instead, simply nod your head and graciously say, “Thank you.”  (I didn't know this - not that anyone has ever toasted me, but I am going to keep it mind for future reference just in case.  You just never know when someone will be tipsy enough to raise their glass in my honor and I will want to do what's right!) 


•Never take your cocktail to the dinner table.  (Back in the day, when I was traveling and going to dinner with contractors {oh I hated those dinners, making nice for hours when all I wanted to do was go back to my hotel, take a hot bath, grab my paperback and jump in bed--at 6:00 p.m. - now back on subject}, most would take their cocktails to the dinner table when a table came up.  They were not going to waste a drop of that $12 drink.) 

•Allow your food to cool on its own—never blow on anything.  (Author obviously never had toddlers clamoring for food and worse yet just whining.  I say just throw those kids a biscuit and by the time it flies through the air, it will be cool enough to stop the whining.  Are we at McDonald's?)

•If you wear lipstick, keep it off your plate and napkin by blotting it as soon as you apply it.  (This is something of which I am guilty.  I never blot my lipstick so I often find my glass with lipstick on it.  I hold my glass or cup with my right hand and use my thumb to discretely wipe the lipstick off.  The dishwasher will thank you.)

•Your napkin is there for you to dab your mouth only. Do not use it to wipe off lipstick or (God forbid) blow your nose.  (Now this just blows me away, no pun intended.  This is going to just make you ill, but I have actually seen some people blow their nose with a napkin, a CLOTH napkin!  Gross!!!  You got it from Reader's Digest and you are getting it from me, a napkin, even a paper napkin, is NOT to be used as your personal tissue AND if I had it my way, you would excuse yourself to the restroom to blow that schnoz.  And if you cannot reasonably get away from the table, turn your head away from the table, or climb under the table, to gently dab at your nose.  No honking please!!!!)

•Keep your elbows off the table at all times.  (Have you been in Oklahoma?  This is just impossible to do.  You gotta get comfy. 

•Don’t put your purse, keys, sunglasses, or eyeglasses on the table.  (So you put them on the floor out of sight, out of sight where you don't notice that your purse is now soaking up spilled Coke.  Oh wait, maybe they are not talking about McDonald's.  And where is the rule about the cell phones?  Remember my ranting post about that a few weeks ago?)

•Take food out of your mouth the way it went in. If a piece of steak fat went into your mouth with a fork, spit it out onto the fork.  (This one is the funniest ever.  Now I ask you, have you ever, ever, ever in your life seen anyone removed a piece of fat, or anything for that matter, from their mouth spitting it back on the fork?? That would just be wrong!  And gross!!  And in full view of anyone looking your way at a glob of fat on a fork coming out of your mouth!  Go under the table and spit it on the floor!  Grandkids - I am just teasing!!!  But this brings up an interesting subject because I always thought you should put your napkin to your mouth and as discretely as possible, spit it in your napkin.  By discretely, I would hope you could somehow wait till your dining partners had their eyes averted.  Throw that biscuit across the room and they will be looking at that instead of the fat coming out of your mouth.) 

•Remove an olive pit with your thumb and index finger.  (Oh come on, not on the fork?  I have kind of gotten into that now.) 

•Taste everything on your plate before you add salt or pepper.  (I agree.  Nothing irritates your hostess like salting everything before you taste a bite.  We have that pasta perfect and seeing it go down the Dead Sea disturbs me--oops--us.

•Leave your plate where it is when you are finished with your meal—don’t push it away from you.  (Not unless you are getting ready to change the baby's diaper.  Oops, again, I keep forgetting we are not at McDonald's.)
 
Please forgive me for having so much fun with this blog.  I was needing to have a little fun.  Things are kind of crazy with me and I am a little bummed.  If you are reading this, thanks!  Love to all.