Throw Them Out or Keep Them

I've been cleaning out drawers today and ran across an old pair of pantyhose.  What am I going to do with those?  Throw them out or keep them?

I don't wear pantyhose anymore, do you?  Styles have changed over the years, but gee, I wish that pantyhose were still popular.  Who decided that pantyhose were to be cast aside for bare legs?  My legs just don't look like they did in 1970.  They need a little help with a cover-up just as my body needs a little cover-up when I dare wear a swimsuit.  (And yes, I really do wear a swimsuit........even at my age.)

Here it is dead of winter, 33 burr degrees.  These days what do women do when they have an event where a knee-length dress is worn?  Do they go bare-legged or do they don hose?  I know what you're going to tell me.........wear dress pants............or wear tights, but DON'T wear the pantyhose. 

Still you haven't convinced me that I should throw them out.  So I will put these sheer lovelies back in the drawer and I can decide later when and if I actually need them.  My criteria will probably be whether my need to be stylish outweighs my need for comfort.  Not many women my age are considered fashionistas anyway.

Throw them out or keep them?

I love you.

I'm going to tell you a little story about pantyhose and how we girls saved money.  Back in my day (back in the sexy Mad Men days--ha ha) pantyhose were pretty expensive.  If one leg got a runner, then the pantyhose was ruined.....or was it?  Nope, and here is how we saved them.  Cut off the leg with the runner and discard, but save the remainder.  When you get a runner in another pair hose, do the same thing.  Assuming the runners were on opposite legs, you would then have another pair with two panties.  Get it????  Just a tiny bit uncomfortable, but hey............saved money when I was a single gal.  By the way I was told about this little secret by someone who really was a fashionista back in the Mad Men days.

 

Qualified Outfit

 

 

My little guys were invited to birthday parties this weekend......SIX of them.  Two for Logan and four for Blaine.  Blaine wants to go to the one at 6 p.m. Saturday night because it is Oscar's, the COOLEST boy in school.  Remember when you wanted to go to the coolest kid's party?  Or maybe YOU were the coolest kid.

 

Well, Saturday night we are invited to the coolest boy in school's home for an annual class reunion.  Here's my dilemma, what to wear?  I kid you not when I tell you that I pulled out and tried on every pair of pants, shorts, and capris in my closet.  I also tell you that I tried on at least four tops for each pants, trying desperately to come up with the perfect combination to look cool (as in hip or is it hep), to look skinny (or at least not to look like I am wearing clothes two sizes too small), and to look like I didn't deliberately go out and buy new clothes (gotta look like I wear these type clothes all the time) and I must look timeless............another word for classy.  Since I will be in another state and do not know the weather at 3:00 in the afternoon, I must not wear something that will be too hot or too cool (as in cold). 

 

The real problem is the pants.  The ones I had intended on wearing are too tight.  Still very cute pants, but tight.  I wore them last year to the same event, but with white pants, I could just put a different top and nobody would be the wiser, and they would fit the bill....long enough to be warm should it be a cool day...white if the weather is warm...hip because white jeans are just  cute...white because they are just plain old classy...AND I wore them last year so they will not look NEW.  That leaves only the problem of tight.  Even though these jeans are skinny jeans which are supposed to be snug, (which were snug last year, maybe just a tad too snug) they are not supposed to look like sausage casings.  The good thing...........they now totally encase my cellulite and rather than small little dimples showing I have these huge sausage casings (one for each leg). 

 

The hubby came in to assure me that he will be proud of me in anything, but he did offer the suggestion that maybe the red pants weren't quite as tight.  "Maybe not quite as tight as the others."  He is a dear man and I suspect after I try on all the "qualified" outfits later tonight, he will offer up some cash and tell me to take a trip to Chico's or some other "qualified" store to get the "qualified" outfit.

 

I love you.

 

P.S.  Anybody got a great recipe for me to take to this event.  Gotta make an impression.  Qualifications:  Must travel well, keep cool or at room temperature for a couple of days, and be easy to serve AND IT MUST BE OVER THE TOP, THE MOTHER OF ALL RECIPES.  Reason:  These ladies are from Arkansas and the southern ladies KNOW how to cook.  Just ask Paula Dean or my Mississippi sister.  Ideas????