Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Ladies, do your mirrors lie to you?  Mine lies to me like a rug!  I am telling you the thing out and out fibs.  (By the way, my mom did not like for any of us kids to use the word  "lie".  We used the word "fib".  Are you fibbing?  It does sound classier, doesn't it?  My mom was indeed a classy lady.) 

Every morning I put my makeup on setting in front of my vanity.  I am simply beautiful!  The mirror says so.  I am happy!  I leave that room and head for the bathroom.  That mirror says the same thing.  "Regina, honey, baby doll, you are one beautiful creature!"  I am happy!  Then I head down the hall and run face to face with another mirror, and by George, that mirror is in cahoots with those other mirrors.  "Regina, you are ready for the world."  These mirrors all live in the same house and somehow have become friends. 

I leave the house and head for a day of shopping.  I am not necessarily looking for anything special which makes the whole shopping experience even more enjoyable.............UNTIL...........I catch a casual glimpse of myself in the mirrors which are hanging all over the store.......mirrors everywhere you look........until you actually need a mirror and then they hide.  Wham........like a rock to the head, I see myself and it is not a pretty sight.  This mirror does not know the mirrors in my house.  They have not learned, as the mirrors in my house, to make the mistress of the house feel better.  

I just finished reading "Celebutantes" written by Amanda Goldberg & Ruthanna Khalighi Hopper.  It is one of those "fluff" book and I highly recommend it if you want to just veg out for a while and have a few laughs.  It is about Oscar week and if this book is only about a quarter accurate, then Hollywood is full of some very crazy, selfish people. 

There is one particular passage in the book that I just love and I quote:  "Here it is straight:  You never really know how you look until you see yourself in a photograph.  That's why you should always Polaroid your party dress before you walk out the front door.  You're in major denial if you think the mirror tells you the truth.  A mirror is like a bad relationship.  It reflects what it thinks you want in that moment, only to screw you with the truth later.  I know.  It hurts.  And it never hurts more than on Oscar night."

So ladies if you have ever run into yourself at the mall and wonder if you were drunk when you dressed or if you have seen pictures of yourself and wonder how your husband let you leave the house 1) looking like your mother, 2) looking like your daughter, 3) with toothpaste on your face, or 4) with your blouse on wrong side out, then I suggest a Polaroid or better yet, a digital photograph before you step out that door.  Believe me, I have been guilty of all four grievances. 

Remember the line above:  "A mirror is like a bad relationship.  It reflects what it thinks you want in the moment, only to screw you with the truth later."

Mirror, mirror on the wall.  

I will be away from the blog for a couple of weeks, but I will be back with all sorts of tales.

I love you all.