I Am No Baker

Remember the old days when you'd ask someone for a recipe and you quickly jotted it down in the margins of the latest copy of Good Housekeeping?   No Internet back then for every recipe in the world with reviews no less.  No, you'd jot down "about a half cup of flour, mix with m, add s, add sug, cr ch, and eggs. 


That's how a lot of my favorite recipes are written; just come over and look for yourself.  So when I pulled out the old cornbread recipe the other day, I realized I should have gotten more specific instructions.  Salt - more to taste.  (How in the world do you adjust salt in a cornbread?  You wouldn't know until after the bread was done.  Buttermilk - ?  That was what was written; just a question mark.  Was buttermilk an option or was the amount needed optional - to taste???? 


I had everything needed except the bacon grease so I decided to substitute oil.  I remembered when I used this recipe a few years back that it was dry so I increased the oil by one tablespoon.  What could it hurt?  Well, let me tell you.  The texture was somewhat dense.....think brownies.  Maybe next time I won't use so much oil.  Oh, and I didn't have buttermilk but I used the old substitute, milk with vinegar. 


Hmmmm, not such a good cornbread.  In fact, the next day the hubby crumbled the leftovers for the birds.  He came back in and showed me his hands.  He said he didn't realize cornbread had so much oil.  I will stick to Shawnee Mills Yellow Cornbread Mix - the best on the planet.  And if I don't have any I will send the hubby to the store......gonna throw this recipe away.  Twice in the last few years, and both times the bread was inedible. 


I would say my problem with baking is inadequate instructions.  Nope that isn't the case.  I used the recipe on the back of the Nestlé's package yesterday to make White Chocolate Macadamia Cookies.  I must have been drunk or something.  I decided that there was something missing.......something more was needed to bring this up a notch.............something more than just plain old delicious white chocolate chips........something more than macadamia nuts..........hmm I am thinking butter brickle chips (are these going to be good or what).  After I put the first batch in the oven I realized that I had used 1/4 cup more butter than called for.  Then I noticed I added one too many eggs.  I just stood there and stared at that uncooked cookie dough and finally decided I couldn't "fix" it at this point.  Surprisingly, they were delicious; however, they were thin, but very chewy.  I think I am on to something. 


It appears my disdain of baking is justifiable.  I can make a mean savory appetizer, but I make a mess in the baking department.  Next time I will just call Shawna and tell her I need cookies.  Looks like she is going to inherit a lot of baking ingredients in the next few days.  Coconut, butter brickle bits, white chocolate chips, white chocolate coating mix, chocolate chips, red cherries, green cherries, dates............{why do I buy all this stuff at Christmas time?} 


I may be a lot of things, but I am no baker.


I love you.