TechNO Gadgets

Somebody ought to write some rules regarding techNO gadgets and I have a few suggestions. I have been guilty of most of my suggestions so please do not think I am talking about anybody that reads these.

Don't text and drive. In fact, it would be much better not to even talk while driving, but.....whatcha going to do.... The cat is out of the bag. The good thing is that most cars now have blue tooth (who decided on this name) and we can talk without holding the phone in the crook of our necks and both hands can be on the wheel. No need to feel embarrassed talking to yourself at the stop light. We all do it.

Do not put your cell phone on the table while dining. Who wants to know that your time is more important than theirs? Rude I tell ya. The whole time you are eating with your friends they will be reminded that any moment their intimate meal time with you teeters in favor of an annoying ring tone. Just turn that sucker off. Put in your pocket or purse. Now if you are expecting your wife to deliver your first child, then we will cut you some slack. Just have that phone on vibrate and in your pocket and absolutely no screaming when that phone vibrates. If your wife is having a second child, we will not cut you any slack. She knows the routine, just let her handle it. She can always leave a message.

You are still in the restaurant and your phone vibrates and you have controlled yourself not to jump or scream, you still do not have the right to look at the phone. No matter how discrete you are, we can follow your eyes to your lap. We know what you are doing. If you feel near death due to your curiosity, then excuse yourself to the restroom. Restroom cell phone use requires another set of rules. We will discuss these later.

OK, it is later and we need to discuss cell phone use while in the bathroom. Just what is the etiquette for cell phone use while indisposed? True story. While in the restroom at Tinker, a woman came in to kill two birds with one stone so to speak. As is my habit, I went to the very last stall passing by 5 other empty stalls. I like to get away! Here she comes, passing one, two, three, four stalls to plant herself in the 5th stall right next to me. She starts talking and right before I start to reply, I realize she is not talking to me. Whew - I didn't know stall to stall conversation was allowed unless you are my sister. I sat there for a while wondering what I should do. Should I wait till she finishes her conversation before pushing that lever? Should I start to move around, pull off paper, shuffle my feet, get up so that she will end her conversation in order to avoid embarrassing herself in front of the recipient of her call? Finally, I decided she was going to talk until the end of her shift so I just flushed. I don't know what the rule should be, but I figure that if the phone user has enough nerve to send or receive calls in the bathroom, then they really don't care whether the toilet is flushed. I walked back into my office exclaiming my dismay at my lack of cell phone knowledge while in the bathroom. I can tell you that it seems a little creepy and a little like an obscene phone call so please no bathroom calls. Bathrooms are not the same thing as the old phone booth.

Under normal circumstances a cell phone or texting should not be used to have any family member bring you any sort of beverage or snack from the kitchen. It is OK, however, to call your spouse to start your bath while you are watching QVC, Desperate Housewives, or Grey's Anatomy, or recorded Days of Our Lives.

Now to texting. Texting is great if you are in a meeting which runs into the lunch hour. Just text your friends to tell them to go to lunch without you, but bring you a Ruben sandwich, fries, and a cherry limeade. You are also allowed to text your husband the grocery list. We all know that this is a lot easier for them as they will more than likely have their phone with them, but not as likely to have the written list (you know, a piece of paper with writing on it).

Ladies and gents, if your texting turns into a conversation back and forth more than three texts, pick up the phone. It will be a lot more fun and a lot quicker especially if you are texting me. Of course, if you are texting while you are work and don't want your boss to know you use the phone, then by all means, text on - as long as your text receiver can do the same.

Texters - please note that your sister may not have the texting ability you do. Disregard all her mistakes.

Note that these rules apply to all users of other media, i.e. IPads, YouPads, WeAllPads.

Note again - I can remember people actually talking on a land line phone. What an invention! Phones right in the home. A phone on the wall or on the end table that your teenager could use with the full knowledge that every word she or he said could be heard by the entire family. No need to worry about what or who they were talking to.

I remember receiving my first "boy" call in the 9th grade at my aunt's house. Finally, later that year our family got a phone. It was a party line, but that was all we needed. We were NOT connected every moment of every day and it was OK. If we were on the phone and heard someone pick up the line, then we knew we were to get off. It was the courteous thing to do.

Love ya.