Vintage Dress

Thought I'd show you the hubby's favorite dress.  NOT!!!  Not by a long shot.  Every time I wear this, he asks when I am going to throw it away.  

Now I ask you, have you ever seen a lovelier dress?  No, probably not.  Look what it has to offer.  Nice and full for all those extra rolls around the middle and great for fanning when the weather gets hot.  Shake yourself about and you can create your own air conditioning.  Take a step outside in this dress and you will see what I mean.  The thing lifts up like a parachute.  The little tie straps can be taken up or let down according to the look you are going for.  These days I am going for full coverage!!! 

Oh I guess I will tell you the truth.  This is a maternity dress - not just any maternity dress - no the one I wore when carrying Steven, 38 years ago,  and then again when I was pregnant with Shawna.  None of those tight tops that the women wear today when pregnant.  No, in those days we girls sought big, oversized clothing while carrying our precious cargo - nothing binding.  I bought the fabric for this dress and mom made it for me along with several others, but this is the only one I kept.  I can't seem to throw the old comfy thing away.  Honestly, the fabric is just like new.  I often throw it on after my shower on a hot summer day spent mowing and doing yard work much to the chagrin of my hubby.

As far as I know it is the only thing I have left that mom made specifically for me.  Oh wait, I have my wedding dress.  This dress - nothing special and definitely not pretty, but I am never going to throw it away despite what my hubby or daughter thinks. 

I tried to get Shawna to wear this dress when pregnant with both her boys, but nothing doing.  Good thing she didn't wear it because I probably wouldn't have had it in my closet yesterday and you wouldn't see how I look after a shower and a day on the mower.

I love you.   

          

Part II - Hey, Don't Tell Anybody About This

I just published a post about how much my hubby loves his hobby - airguns.  Now let me tell you how much.  We made a road trip yesterday, just to make sure we knew the way to the upcoming airgun show.

Wednesday night we packed our car for our Thursday trip to the Arkansas Air Gun Show.  Oh yes, we are getting out of town.  Bright and early Thursday morning, after a quick emergency trip to the dentist, we pulled out, heading east to Malvern, AR.  For those of you who do not know where that is, it is about 20 miles east of Hot Springs, AR.  A full 6 hour trip from our house to the city center.  I know that because we set the GPS.   

We pulled into our hotel almost straight up 4:00 p.m. and here is where things started getting strange.  We pull up under the hotel canopy and see a van in front of us.  Noticing the Missouri license tag, the hubby makes mention that it must be old so and so because he is from Missouri.  We drag our tired, limping bodies into the lobby and notice nothing but women.........hmmmmm.  They all get checked in and now it is our turn.  I tell the girl our name, she looks it up and nothing.  Oh, it must be because I had used my name on the reservation, so that must be it.  "Look under the name Regina Tucker."  No such name.  hmmmmm  "Well I put my reservation number in my notes on the cell phone.  Let me get that."  Nope!  No reservation for today.  Then we proceed to tell her that we are part of the airgun show.  I knew she would know about that.  And she did - she knew a lot more than us apparently.  "No folks, the airgun show is next week."  "NEXT WEEK!  Are you kidding me?  We drove 6 blankety blank hours on the wrong day - the WRONG WEEK??!!!!  Johnny, they are going to lock us up.  Yeah, don't tell anybody we ever did this.  Are we senile?  Well, I guess we now know the answer to that question.  Are we crazy?  Oh, my, gosh!

Now I have taken my 8 year old daughter to a birthday party the day after the party, I have found myself on a street I did not know I had turned on, I have found milk on a shelf in the cabinet, but I have never taken a TRIP six hours away to a scheduled event on the wrong week.  You'd think somewhere during that six hour trip, one of us would have said something about the date.

Normally this show is the first weekend in May and I had made mention that since they moved it back ONE week (NOT TWO) that I would now be able to go to the Kolache Festival in Prague this year.  I knew the show was the last weekend in April, and why we got ready to go (and might I mention again that not only did we get ready, WE WENT) this week we will never know.  I still say senility.  Watch out for us. 

For several minutes we sat in the car and beating ourselves up and feeling like stupid idiots.  Now what do we do?

Go home?  That would mean another 6 hours driving and neither one of felt in the mood to do that.  Besides we would relive the stupidity of our actions all the way home.

Go see Rhonda and John, we are only another 5 hours away?  No, not without Stormy.  Besides I have a dental appointment on Monday and now hubby has dental issues as well.

How about Hot Springs?  After we had a nice dinner at Via Roma, we spent the night in a nice hotel in a nice town and just relaxed.  This morning we found a great antique mall, and by 12:30 we were on our way home.  We managed to make something that for quite a while was very unpleasant into something memorable and fun.  We might be able to laugh about this some day, but maybe not for a while.

Hey, don't tell anybody about this.  {wink}  I love you.   

Part I - Getting Ready for the Airgun Show

I wrote this early this week, but did not publish it.  Be sure to catched Part II for the rest of the story.

He's going to the airgun show!  My hubby is in his element.  He's going to the airgun show!  He is getting excited.  He is getting all his wares together, sorting, tagging, cleaning, repairing, and making the painful decision as to what can go and what must stay.  The music is playing in the garage and the smell of various cleaning products specified for guns is in the air.  I know this is strange, but I like it.  I like knowing that he is nearby, I like that he is having a good time, I like it that he will see his friends again, and I like it that while we are there I will be able to pick out his laugh amongst all the other guys.

 Have you noticed when your spouse is in a good mood, so are you?  I have one happy hubby today, therefore I am happy today.  His hobby is antique airguns and BB guns.  For the last several years, he has gotten a table at the Arkansas airgun show where he can display his things.  Although he takes a couple dozen or more of his not so prized possessions and sets them out for sale, we usually end up bringing most of them back home, so I tend to think that we get a table for display and more specifically, he gets a table so he will have an excused to stay at this show for 1 1/2 days - someplace to put his hat, so to speak.  I am convinced these men and some women attend this show only to see others collections, to show off their guns, to ask questions of all the experts, and to buy new guns.  Oh woe is me!!
I love to travel, but more than the actually traveling, I love to plan.  In the early years of our marriage, I sent wrote to almost every state in the union, gathering all sorts of pamphlets and brochures to plan each segment of our trips.  Now days, I can do it right online, even finding the actual menus of restaurants I want to try.  Shopping - just look it up.  Don't know how to get there, just download the Google Map.  I will be Google-ing (a verb??) antiques.  I have several days of checking out new restaurants, shopping, and antiquing!  Who needs airguns?  

Don't Be Like Mrs. Blackwell. Check the Elastic in Your Panties

Remember the days when most of the women wore dresses, especially elderly women and your TEACHERS?  This is a story about Mrs. Blackwell, and if I remember correctly, she was one of my junior high English teachers.  Mrs. Blackwell wore dresses.  The elastic in her panties broke.  Mrs. Blackwell dropped her drawers right up front, right at the blackboard.  Yep, those suckers fell right off!  Right down to her ankles!  In front of junior high kids - BOYS!!!  Now how do you recover from that one.  Moral of the story:  Make sure the elastic is strong in your panties. 

I have often thought of Mrs. Blackwell when I see young boys wearing these baggie jeans hanging well below their bottom.  The other day, at Walmart, I saw a father loading his trunk and every time he bent over, those jeans fell below his (and I am just going to say it) butt.  He'd raise up, pull them up, put more groceries in the trunk and repeat the procedure - 10 times!  Moral of the story:  If you loose 10 minutes loading groceries in the car because you are constantly pulling up your jeans, loose them, and by that, I don't mean let them drop to the ground.

One of the funniest sights I ever saw was when V. and I stopped at a grocery store near Barksdale while we were TDY.  At the next checkout stand, I saw a guy, I will call him Shreveport man, who literally had to use one hand to pay for his purchases, 'cause he had the other hand holding his pants up.  Being the nosey woman I am, I kept my eye out for Shreveport man in the parking lot.  There he was still with one hand on his pants and the other arm loaded with groceries looking perplexed, staring at his car.  Here's the dilemma.  He needed to unlock the car.  What will he do, put the groceries on the ground or drop his pants?  If you guessed dropped his drawers you are correct.  Just like Mrs. Blackwell, those suckers were dropped to the ground.  I guess he thought he'd be more embarrassed if he had to drop the groceries or maybe he was proud of something.  Moral of the story:  Don't wear pants so large that you need to let them drop to your ankles when you unlock your car.

Here is what I have to say to all you people who have lost weight and think you haven't, to those of you who think you can still wear those bigger clothes - don't!  Get some smaller clothes.  It just doesn't look good when you have to use one hand to hold up your clothes.  Your undies might fall down, oh wait, they did!  Good thing you had your hand on your jeans.  Walking with your knees together, knock kneed - not good - save that knock kneed look for parties, you know, the party where you wear the lampshade on your head.  Moral of the story:  Don't be like Mrs. Blackwell.  Check the elastic in your panties. 

I should have warned you about the "Mrs. Blackwell incident" as it has come to be called.  Now, can I go with you to buy some new clothes?  Thanks for the chuckle.  I love you!           

Tinker Groceries

Food is always on my mind.  I think we may have discussed this before.  If I am not thinking about what I am going to fix for dinner, then I am remembering a meal or particular foods from the past.  I thought I'd share a few tales involving food at Tinker.

Everybody who has ever worked at Tinker will do doubt tell you about the feasts we have.  We celebrate birthdays, retirements, babies, marriages, going away parties, promotions, demotions, Christmas, Super Bowl, 4th of July, any OU game (especially those against Nebraska, back in the day that one was huge since we had lots of colleagues and friends at SAC Hqs, and, of course, Texas), 15th of April -- think about it, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, bosses day, secretaries day, tooth aches, Easter, Memorial Day, first landing on Mars, inspections, opening day of Krispy Kreme, Ides of March, and any other thing someone could dream up. Since I mostly worked with guys for the first 18 years of my Tinker life, I was asked, no expected, to be the one responsible for the planning, cooking, serving, and cleaning of the said celebrations. I have to be honest, during those first 18 years, there were other women from time to time in the office and they helped, but since I am the control freak I am, I took charge more than I should have. Since I am in charge of these stories, I like to think of myself as a martyr so I can whine.

So for my Tinker friends, here are a few tales based on fact:

1. I remember the time when they guys thought that it had been a long time since they had snacks in the office. They didn't want to bring anything themselves, but they were willing to pass the hat and they came up with a tidy sum of one quarter a piece and have me do it, the unmarried secretary - the lowest salaried employee. This was in the early 70s and I was thought of as the maid to those guys. I might have been a little put out that they came up with a quarter a piece, so this time...........I bought exactly that measly sum would buy. I threw my quarter in, of course, but imagine their surprise and dismay when I brought in one large bag of plain potato chips and a couple tubs of dip. That'll teach 'em to send me to the grocery store with $4 for food for 12. First question, "Where's the meat and cheese?!?" Are you kidding me? Had these guys never been to the grocery store themselves??

2. Back in the day, there was a woman in our office with Italian heritage. Nothing do but she had to bring it to the office to show off. By this time, she had annoyed just about everyone with her incessant bragging, but since she wanted to bring it in we were generous enough to allow her....well the fact is, those guys NEVER turned down an opportunity for food.  We all chipped in and the spaghetti throw down was on. She brought a huge cooker, filled it with water, and turned it on. The water got hot, but not boiling. Lunch time was getting closer and closer and no boiling water. Closer and closer until she finally decided to go ahead and put the dry spaghetti in the water.  She stirred. She stirred again....and again, trying to keep the strands from sticking together as they cooked. And cook they did.  Do you know what happens to spaghetti when you put it in hot, but not boiling water, and stir it? It dissolves into nothing. There was not one strand of spaghetti, not one overcooked limp strand, but we had plenty of starchy water. Lucky for her she had meatballs and sauce and bread to throw at the savages in our office. The woman never lived that episode down. The cruel savages called her "Miss Chef Boy-r-Dee" from that day on. They teased so badly that finally our boss had to step in and call the savages off.  Still it was fun, Margarite.

3. After a couple of group Thanksgiving dinners where the food ran out before my guys (I am kind of proprietary) went through the line, I volunteered to make the Thanksgiving dinner for them the next year which turned out to be the next umteen years. Oh my gosh, what a smuck I was - am! I started working on those dinners several days in advance; 2 turkeys, gravy, potatoes, green beans, dressing, cranberries, rolls, butter and homemade pies. Yes, I cooked it all, dragging into the office around 11:00 looking like I had been through a steam bath with my clothes on. The one stipulation I had was that I would NOT carve the turkey so one of the guys would come to the house to carve it and take me to work.

4. Some of you may remember when I brought my taco soup to the office. I put it on the cabinet, but it sloshed - all over me and my BRAND NEW dress, and BRAND NEW suede shoes. I was drenched so badly that I had to go home and change clothes. Soup was good though. Moral: Don't wear new clothes and new shoes when you bring sloshy food to the office.

We had so much fun on those grocery days, didn't we K? The food was always delicious, but much better after T. came into the office. I knew I had met my match (out matched!!!) and a new friend when I saw the vegetable carved palm tree and the crock of pate she brought for our Christmas snack day.  Finally, I had someone in the office who likes to cook, and cook well she does! Nothing from Albertson's deli from her. Once she came into our office, our grocery days were upped to the gourmand level.  Thanks T.

Food has a way of bringing people together, don't you think. We became a little family when we "broke bread" (as my dad liked to call it) together...a little office family. These little get togethers had a way of soothing feathers and de-stressing certain situations. Hard to stay mad when you are enjoying the best cucumber sandwiches you have ever tasted, a great batch of hot wings, or a slice of cheesecake. I loved every one of these celebrations even those where I cooked for days and cleaned up the mess. I miss them - Tinker groceries.  By the way, the reason the water didn't come to a boil was because the cooker threw the braker and nobody thought to check. 

I love you guys!!

Pass Me the Numzit!

Here I set tonight with a tiny tomato label on the tip of my tongue.  Why, you may ask?  Well, I think I will tell you.  I am just about out of mind, that's why.  A month ago I had dental work which left me with an uncontrollable urge to rub my tongue on the new bonding material between my two front lower teeth.  Now I don't have a place to put my tongue for this bonding material is the size of a landscape timber! ! !  I am just about to go crazy and now the tip of my tongue is almost raw searching for a place to rest.  I think I need a tranquilizer - but I don't have any, but I do have this little label I pulled off the tomato I sliced for my burger tonight which I had placed on my blouse because I didn't want to walk to the trash while I was slicing my tomato.  What luck when I noticed it on my blouse for now it is on my tongue and working like a champ.  My tongue no longer has the desire to rub itself raw.  See how resourceful I am, saving the label, putting it on my blouse, and finding a new use for it in my mouth.  Do you think there is a chance of botulism?  Pass me the Numzit!

It rained all day long today.  Lucky for me I finished mowing the yard last night about 7:00 p.m.  The green lush lawn looks so pretty with glittering rain drops.  Mowing is so therapeutic for me...that is, if I am using the ZTR.  Mind numbing.....thought provoking.....memory time.  So many things flowed through my mind on that mower, one of them was remembering my Grandma and Grandpa Dawkins.  They had a huge lawn; seemed to me like it must have been a half acre in the front.  They would take turns, one of them mowing a square, stopping at the porch to get a drink of water that the other had waiting and so the other could mow a square.  Taking turns, team work.  No ZTR for them, no electric start mower, no self-propelled drive mower, just a pull start mower.  Oh, did I mention they didn't have air conditioning in the house either?  So the next time you mow your yard on your riding mower, think about that.  There wasn't even relief waiting in the house.

With a lightened heart tonight, I want to tell you that I love you.