Sunday, May 20, 2012

Here's to Nice Guys

We are home!  After another weekend in gorgeous Arkansas, we are home.  As pretty as that state is, there is no place like home and for us it is on Blackjack Ridge Road. 

We haven't been camping in a long, long time and tent camping -- even longer.  Even so, each year, the Sunday before Memorial Day weekend (today!), I start scouring the ads, specifically targeting those stores' ads that might have tents, camping gear, water sports, etc.  I start daydreaming about a Tenkiller trip and summer fun ahead. 

How fun would it be to have a huge floating barge.  Have you seen it at Sam's?  How cool would it be to have all five girls and my adorable niece on that thing at once?  There are cup holders for all five seats, plus cup holders for the double mattress.  And even a cooler for our drinks.  And get this, an awning to prevent all us lily white beauties from sunburning...all except for one and her daughter who will be brown from their pool at home.  I don't much like them.

And here is how the story goes:  The barge will be hauled in the back of somebody's truck, taking up half the bed.  Imagine an air compressor taking up the other half of the bed.  Imagine a brother-in-law nice enough to do all that for us.  Yes, there are five guys for these five bathing beauties, but only one will be nice enough to lug this all to the lake for us.  Yep, you know who you are.  From this point on you will be called 'Mr. Nice Guy' to remain anonymous and to not offend the rest of the 'Not As Nice Guys' who are really nice until it comes blowing up a barge in 100 degree weather.

Yea, we are at the lake and it is hot!  Mr. Nice Guy's wife declares it is a great time for a swim.  We have just gotten up from our naps and the temperature has dropped from 103 to 100 degrees.  "Mr. Nice Guy?" Mr. Nice Guy's wife asks.  "Is that raft aired up?"

"Well no, I didn't know when you would need it", he replies sweetly, but just a little put out as he wasn't able to take a nap because he was making sure his sister's-in-law had firewood for a campfire tonight.  Sweet as Mr. Nice Guy is, he trudges off to get his air compressor out.  By this time, the other 'Not As Nice Guys' find their way over to offer advice.  One of them will undoubtedly cut the barge box open while the others offer unwanted advice.  OK, now it is out and getting dusty as the 'not as nice guys' are pulling and tugging and trying to make some sense of how the thing should be layed out and where the air valves are.  Yes, valves with an 's'.  This thing is huge.  You need several individual pockets for air.  You wouldn't want that baby to blow completely up and leave the bathing beauties floundering in the lake, screaming for Mr Nice Guy and his friends, Not As Nice Guys.  We might make a spectacle.........a deflating barge sinking fast, screaming that someone lost a shoe, and "oh my gosh, there is water in my Coke", "my sunglasses are at the bottom of the lake", "sunglasses, what about my glasses?"  Yes, you can imagine all the ruckus.

Now the barge is aired up and look at that thing.  We are laughing ourselves silly as it is taller than the camper and............that is when it hits us.  Now we have to get it to the water.  They guys are pretty hot and sweaty by now and are grateful the bathing beauties are headed to the lake with this barge and out of their hair for a couple hours.  But wait, the wind has kicked up!  And!!! man oh man, this thing is heavy and the wind is not making it any easier.  Barge takes flight!!!!!!  But beauties manage to hold on.  "Girls, we are going to have to have help.  We have another 300 feet to the lake.", I say.  Turning around, the guys are pretty much doubled over with their diabolical laughs.  We girls are not thinking of any of them being anywhere near 'nice guys' at this point, but we realize if we want their help we are going to have to let them laugh.  We don't even have to ask...........being the 'Nice Guys' they are and after the laughter has waned, they saunter down to us and offer to carry the raft on to the lake.  Yes, it takes a village to move a barge and a lot of nice guys.

Finally, we are in the water, all the bathing beauties.  We tether ourselves to the designated swimming ropes for a wonderful afternoon of visiting, where to shop tomorrow, wondering if there is a Chico's nearby, deciding what we are going to fix for supper, and whether that cloud forming in the southwest will bring rain before we get out of the water.  By this time, the few brave 'Nice Guys' (you will notice my referral to 'Nice Guys' now as they deserve the new title after carrying the barge) have joined us on the raft, oh I forgot, BARGE.  They all agree that this is pretty nice.  No tethering one float to another like we did last year.  Yeah, pretty nice..............until we realize that we need to get this thing back to shore.  How in the world do we do that?  We are 400 feet from shore, no paddle.  Up the creek without a paddle!  Floating beauties are beginning to get sunburned.  Up the creek without a paddle!  Oh wait, we have the brave 'Nice Guys' on board.  But they haven't got a clue either until one says, "The only way we are going to make this thing move is if we all get off and push it back to shore."  "Are you serious?  We got this thing out here by floating on it.  The wind took us to the rope and now you say we are going to have to push it?"  As you can probably tell, this is a husband and wife conversation and you can probably tell whose.  "Well, yeah.  The wind has come up and if you float back to shore, you are going to float to the middle of the lake.  See????"

Resolution sets in.  We all jump off making sure all our belongings are secured and riding along on the barge.  Here we all are, all nine of us, pushing this huge white barge to shore.  Mr. Nice Guy and his com padre join us 30 minutes later at the shore line to help carry the thing to shore or maybe we could tie it up in the water somehow.  Nobody would steal it.  Or we could take it back to camp and lean it up but if that thing got loose in the night, there is no telling where it would be by morning.  The Goodyear Barge sailing over the Arkansas hills, heading for the Mississippi River.  Yep, let's just tie it up on the water.

Here's to Nice Guys.  I love you.

2 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud! And then made John put his movie on pause while I read it to him! Yep we all know who Mr. Nice Guy is (and I'm not married to him!)

    And even my "doc" says I need to get outside more! Did you know that sunshine can give you more energy!?!

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