Be In the Moment

Be in the moment.  That was a topic of discussion on one of the morning shows today.  I had been thinking about this very thing for a while so their discussion really caught my attention.  Recently I found myself with 5 or 6 other people and I couldn't get a word in edge wise.  Finally - I had the stage....I thought...with one person.  I was knee deep in my story, relishing in my moment in the sun...telling my story, excited that somebody was paying attention to me.  I looked away just for a split second and look back only to see my friend's eyes quickly darting away to catch another conversation.  Dog gone, I thought I had 'em.  I was so sure that my story was so interesting and funny that they would be repeating it for days to come.  I realized right then that I was not saying anything that anyone thought interesting.  You know what......in that moment, I hurt.  I was embarrassed.  It was apparent that they weren't interested in what I had to say.  Now here is the hard part for me.  Do I just quickly come to the point of the story or abruptly quit talking?  In this instance I just stopped talking and you know what?  My friend didn't even notice because the other conversation sucked them in.

I have found myself on the opposite end of this scenario, wanting to listen to someone else's conversation rather than the person talking.  Being a good listener is an art.  You have to be in the moment.  I have an aunt who is always in the moment.  She listens, she leans toward you and makes eye contact while you are talking.  You know for sure that you have her undivided attention.  She is not just waiting for the moment to jump in with her comments or to join another conversation. 

To be in the moment you might have to turn off the TV to hear what your spouse is saying.  You may have to get off the computer rather than irritating your friend on the other end of the phone - you know what I mean about that one, don't you?  It is almost impossible to carry on a conversation while reading your email - believe me I have tried it and can never get away with it.  Your responses to the conversation lag just enough for the speaker to know you are not giving them your undivided attention.  How about the child who is trying to get mom's attention while she texts away?  I think our society will really suffer in the years to come over that one.  Remember a few years back when everyone griped about dad having a pager or phone even while on vacation and how we thought our family would suffer?  Now a days, both parents have a cell phone and it is attached to them like an oxygen bottle and their children are almost always second fiddle to the phone. 

It is a little late for New Year's resolutions, but I am going to try from this day forward to be in the moment.  Just think what a gift it would be to give your family and your friends if you gave them your undivided attention - to let them feel like they are really important to you.  After all, reading a text is not more important than your child telling you about the pinecone they found at recess.  In the moment.....

I love you all.  Listen.............